Satellite radio and retardation...
Yesterday I decided to join the masses and subscribe to Sirius satellite radio (mainly so I could once again hear Howard) and I have been pleased so far. A couple of hiccups though...
Sirius offers a $5 discount on activation if you perform your activation on the internet. Only catch, they don't offer the option to subscribe to the monthly service on the internet activation website. Problem one. I called their 800 number to activate my account and was greeted by a 20 minute wait. Problem two. After waiting I was connected to an apparent Down's Syndrome sufferer who was also deaf. Problem three. The poor bastard had to have me spell out every word I spoke phonetically which made the call painfully long. He also informed me that he could not refund the additional $5 activation fee since he had "no control" over the billing. Problem four. The call ended and I went out to my car and to my amazement and extreme joy, my radio was working. I listened to Howard for a few minutes and then checked out some of the other stations. All is well. I decided to logon to my account with Sirius so I could listen online and discovered that my ID did not work. I called the customer service line and after another incredibly long wait I was informed that the ID I was giving the person on the phone was not the ID on my account. The Down's tard had incorrectly spelled my ID and had then used the correct spelling of my ID as my password. I support retards in the workforce but this is pushing it. It gets better. My ID and password get corrected and I logon to my account and see that my last name has apparently been changed to Kimlaw. Those of you who know me know that my last name is decidedly NOT Kimlaw. How the hell this buffoon managed to get Kimlaw out of me PHONETICALLY SPELLING my last name to him I have absolutely no friggin idea. He wasn't even remotely close. I'm amazed that this guy has a job, let alone the ability to wake up, urinate into a toilet, get dressed and drive to said job in an actual car and not kill himself or anyone else in the process. Moving on.
Now I realize that there a few limitations to downward looking satellites and one of them is line-of-sight issues. If there happens to be something blocking the satellite from a direct transmission to your antenna, there will be a disruption of service. I understand that and was expecting it. For example, last night I took my son to Toys R Us so he could spend some of his Christmas moolah on a video game he wanted. After leaving the store I had to stop for gas and my radio lost service while I was under the cover at the pumps at Chevron. OK. No problem. Once again, I was expecting this. Tonight, however, I pulled into the parking garage at work and never lost my signal once. Can someone please explain this to me? How in God's name can my signal be blocked by a 1/16 inch think piece of corrugated sheet metal and not be blocked by a 50 foot tall building with tons and tons of concrete, rebar, metal, pipes, furniture, computers, et cetera that I'm parked underneath? This has got my curiosity peaked. I'm thinking about doing some tests using different materials to see what will block the signal and what won't. Paper? Cardboard? Tin foil? Plywood? Tampons? Fecal matter? Dead kittens? Pancakes? I want to know so in case a truckload of Summer Wind scented Platex Gentle Glides with the optional absorbent braid happens to overturn on top of my Land Rover while I'm going 75 miles an hour on Highway 67, I'll have the comfort of knowing that I'll still be able to listen to Martha Stewart Living on my satellite radio while paramedics dig me out from under a mound of feminine hygiene inserts.
Sirius offers a $5 discount on activation if you perform your activation on the internet. Only catch, they don't offer the option to subscribe to the monthly service on the internet activation website. Problem one. I called their 800 number to activate my account and was greeted by a 20 minute wait. Problem two. After waiting I was connected to an apparent Down's Syndrome sufferer who was also deaf. Problem three. The poor bastard had to have me spell out every word I spoke phonetically which made the call painfully long. He also informed me that he could not refund the additional $5 activation fee since he had "no control" over the billing. Problem four. The call ended and I went out to my car and to my amazement and extreme joy, my radio was working. I listened to Howard for a few minutes and then checked out some of the other stations. All is well. I decided to logon to my account with Sirius so I could listen online and discovered that my ID did not work. I called the customer service line and after another incredibly long wait I was informed that the ID I was giving the person on the phone was not the ID on my account. The Down's tard had incorrectly spelled my ID and had then used the correct spelling of my ID as my password. I support retards in the workforce but this is pushing it. It gets better. My ID and password get corrected and I logon to my account and see that my last name has apparently been changed to Kimlaw. Those of you who know me know that my last name is decidedly NOT Kimlaw. How the hell this buffoon managed to get Kimlaw out of me PHONETICALLY SPELLING my last name to him I have absolutely no friggin idea. He wasn't even remotely close. I'm amazed that this guy has a job, let alone the ability to wake up, urinate into a toilet, get dressed and drive to said job in an actual car and not kill himself or anyone else in the process. Moving on.
Now I realize that there a few limitations to downward looking satellites and one of them is line-of-sight issues. If there happens to be something blocking the satellite from a direct transmission to your antenna, there will be a disruption of service. I understand that and was expecting it. For example, last night I took my son to Toys R Us so he could spend some of his Christmas moolah on a video game he wanted. After leaving the store I had to stop for gas and my radio lost service while I was under the cover at the pumps at Chevron. OK. No problem. Once again, I was expecting this. Tonight, however, I pulled into the parking garage at work and never lost my signal once. Can someone please explain this to me? How in God's name can my signal be blocked by a 1/16 inch think piece of corrugated sheet metal and not be blocked by a 50 foot tall building with tons and tons of concrete, rebar, metal, pipes, furniture, computers, et cetera that I'm parked underneath? This has got my curiosity peaked. I'm thinking about doing some tests using different materials to see what will block the signal and what won't. Paper? Cardboard? Tin foil? Plywood? Tampons? Fecal matter? Dead kittens? Pancakes? I want to know so in case a truckload of Summer Wind scented Platex Gentle Glides with the optional absorbent braid happens to overturn on top of my Land Rover while I'm going 75 miles an hour on Highway 67, I'll have the comfort of knowing that I'll still be able to listen to Martha Stewart Living on my satellite radio while paramedics dig me out from under a mound of feminine hygiene inserts.
posted by Dropdtuner at 8:34 PM
1 Comments:
A usual, pure genius. Welcome to the fold. Hopefully no one will be on the Sybian while your mother-in-law is in the car with you.
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