Changes...

Life can really come at you sometimes. Just when you think you've seen it all, you're just getting started. I once said on a former version of this blog that there were "10 Things I Know". Let me say here that it was all bullshit. Aside from having become one of the most despicable people that I can think of, I've hit a massive crossroads in my life and I've come to some realizations. Here they are.

God is in control of everything and can take any situation and use it for His glory.

I love my wife more than anything on this planet.

I'm a different person than I was a week ago and I really have no desire to go back. It's a process and I realize that but I'm actually looking forward to it. I considered deleting all of the entries up to this point and even changing the name of my blog but I'm going to leave it for now. I have my reasons. More to come...

The fire is back...

California is burning!!! PUT IT OUT!! PUT IT OUT!! I am the Governator and I say PUT IT OUT ASSHOLE!! Thank you for coming.

I'm not sure what's gotten into me...

I've gone for a few months without a post that was preceeded by an even longer lapse and now I've pumped out three or four in the last hour. What the hell? I guess I really am that bored. Since there apparently isn't anything else to do, I'll let you guys in on a little secret. I'm going to start doing stand up comedy.

You heard me. I'm gonna be a stand up comic. In the near future I'm going to grace the stage at Backdoor Comedy Club here in beautiful Dallas Texas. Think Mitch Hedberg. I'll let you know how it goes.

"I'll let you know how it goes"? Who the hell am I talking to? Does anybody even read this shit?

Best headline ever...

I had to put this out here since I almost sprayed Dr. Pepper all over my computer screen when I read it.

"Naked Mom Argues With Son, Accidentally Shoots Finger"

Holy shit, the story is even funnier.

Ten chicks I'd like to plow...

We'll do this countdown style.

10. Halle Berry

9. Elizabeth Hurley

8. Drew Barrymore

7. Jessica Simpson

6. Princess Leia (In the Jabba prisoner bikini)

5. Robin Meade (see previous post)

4. Natalie Portman

3. Shannon Elizabeth

2. Scarlett Johansson

1. Jessica Biel

But I must say that I really wouldn't enjoy banging any of these chicks more than my own wife. She's insane in the sack!!

Robin Meade is a total piece of ass...

Since I started working at EDS again I've been introduced to a lovely young lady named Robin Meade. Many of you may know who she is but for those of you who don't, she is the morning personality on CNN Headline News. She's a former Miss Ohio and she's way hot. You should see her rack when she wears little low cut numbers on the show.

Good GOD I'm bored...

Only 4 1/2 hours to go here at work. I'm so bored my vision is LITERALLY blurred. I'm so bored that the internet has become tiresome. I grow more bored with each keystroke of this post.

I also have gas.