"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain
Once again, there has been quite a gap in between my musings and I'm here to tell you that life has taken more than a few interesting turns. We'll get to those in a few moments, but first I have to get something off my chest, or man-boobs as it were. Who the hell came up with Valentine's Day and what was their motivation? Now I'm sure that there's probably some really deep story behind it, full of religious imagery and probably a couple really warm and fuzzy stories of lost and then renewed love of the unending type. *YAWN* I prefer my holidays to be founded on the slaughter and subsequent roasting of some kind of living creature for my eating enjoyment. Anyway, I'm quite certain (after a few years on this earth and a few Valentine's Days) that the holiday was definitley conceived by a human posessing a vagina. Not that it's a mind blowing revelation to anyone with a penis. For the rest of you weaker sex types, I'll run down the reasons that make this the most female holiday of the year:
Cards - What self-respecting heterosexual male wants to receive a card on ANY holiday?
Endearments - Feel lucky that we grunt out "I love you" while we're elbow deep in your noonie.
The Color Pink - No real need to elaborate.
Flowers - Girls, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Men don't like flowers. Receiving or giving.
There are only two things about Valentine's Day that men appreciate. Eating and sex, both of which can be accomplished at the same time with a little imagination. If you're like me, a form of eating prior to sex is actually a requirement.
To sum it up, thanks to our consumer driven society, we men have to put up with a holiday that was designed specifically to make us look bad and to give women another reason to withold sex from us since only about 1% of American males actually get to engage in intercourse with a female on Valentine's Day. That about takes care of why men hate February 14th.
Now then, let me share a little bit of what's been going on in old Dropdtuner's life the last few months.
I left my job at IBM. Granted, it was what I was supposed to do. I knew it, my wife knew it, it was confirmed by several people. With the outcome, I'm not sure why, but I know it was what I was supposed to do. We'll get to that.
Why did I leave IBM you ask? Because I was offered a job to go and work for a moron. (Did I say moron? I meant friend.) I accepted which actually made me the moron. Before I get into the details let me say this. Don't EVER go to work for a friend. I don't care how long you've known them, how close you are, what the details of the job are...don't do it. Having said that, the literal moment I walked in the door, it turned to shit. Not your normal run-of-the-mill shit, really wet, sticky shit. Shit so disgusting that normal shit looks at it and says, "Damn." Shit so vile that Satan himself would gag at the mere sight, let alone the smell of it.
Quick sidebar that has nothing to do with the subject matter of this post...WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY?!!! I'm looking at a breaking news story on CNN about yet another shooting at a college, this time in Illinois. Between campus shootings, guys tossing their kids out of cars on the interstate and A-holes blowing away fatties at Lane Bryant, the body count due to complete asshats is pretty high these past couple of weeks.
Getting back to it, I'll give you a brief timeline of events regarding my employment adventures over Lo, these past few months:
May 31st, 2007 - Left IBM for the greener pastures of MCG Stone.
June 1st, 2007 - Went to new job and realized that I was boned.
Remainder of June 2007 - No paycheck.
July 2007 - No paycheck.
August 2007 - No paycheck.
September 2007 - No paycheck.
October 2007 - No paycheck.
November 8th, 2007 - After dozens of resumes sent out with no calls, staffing companies contacted with zero results, odd jobs performed for friends and so on, I was contacted and subsequently hired to perform Sales Associate duties in the electronics department at Wal-Mart for $9.65 an hour. (I grossed $74,000 in 2006 with IBM...just to give you an idea of the numbers.)
January 25th, 2008 - Hired (for the third time mind you) by Electronic Data Systems, EDS for those of you who know the company by it's initials.
So here I am, working at EDS for the third time and doing the same old stuff I've been doing for the last 15 or so years. I've gotta say that I never thought once in all of my years at IBM that I would be back at EDS again. Oh well, never say never. And I'm still working at Wal-Mart on my days off from EDS so, if my math is correct, that means I work 7 days a week.
Oh yeah, since the moron (I mean friend) that I went to work for also happened to be the guitarist for Stone Down, the band is no more. Since we're on the band subject, in a related incident, I cut my hair that I had been growing for over 2 years for a job interview that I didn't even get. That's right, I didn't even get the INTERVIEW, let alone the JOB and I cut my hair for it. Thanks a million Southwest Airlines.
At this point in my post, I'm gonna wrap it up because I don't have the time or energy to get into all of the monetary problems that my family has gone through thanks to a certain person not being able to keep from sticking his dick into a woman that was not his wife.
